A Long Way Home

Matt, Nate, and I just returned from another wonderful two-week trip to New York while Keith was in the field. Once again, the boys adjusted beautifully to being away from home, in a completely different environment and in a different time zone. I really love how adaptable they are—a quality that certainly comes with the military lifestyle. It gives me a great deal of hope that our upcoming move to LA will go smoothly and that Matt and Nate will adjust to their new home relatively quickly.

The boys got in lots of fun, quality time with their grandma and grandpa and the rest of the family. I also enjoyed many much-needed nights out without the kiddos. Heading into the city on the subway to hit the town with my friends and family, I felt like my old self again. I ate at great restaurants, hit up fun bars, went to the movies, and even took in a New York Rangers game. It was certainly a much-needed vacation for all of us.

The trip home? Not so wonderful. My Aunt Terry flew back with the boys and me because there is no way in hell I’d be able to handle them on my own. In fact, the two of us could barely handle them. I got to see firsthand how much “behind the scenes” stuff Keith takes care of when we travel to keep things running smoothly.

The fun started when my dad pulled up to the United Airlines terminal at LaGuardia Airport and none of us could get the car seats out of the car. My dad’s car has the latch system, and Keith had made sure to show me how to remove the seats. And I did know how to remove them. I just couldn’t do it. I felt like the latches were buried so deep in the seat I could barely get my hands on them, let alone unhook them.

After 20 minutes of the boys growing increasingly agitated as my dad and I fiddled with the seats, the curbside check-in guy took pity on us and removed them in three minutes flat.

But then we had another problem. I couldn’t seem to attach the seats tightly enough to our Go-Go Babyz Travelmates, which had been lifesavers for us in the past and are amazing items to have if you’re 99 percent of the population. But if you’re me and you’re a complete idiot when it comes to anything technical—yet you don’t bother to read the instruction manual—suddenly they became way less useful, and you end up dragging the kids through the airport without the wheels even spinning half the time because various straps are getting caught underneath them, and your kids are bouncing around in their car seats like they’re on a wooden roller coaster.

(This photo, from our much more peaceful flight in December, depicts how the Travelmates are supposed to work):

This photo, from our much more peaceful flight in December, depicts how the Travelmates are supposed to work. Oops...

Yet we made it onto our flight to Denver, and the boys were doing great. Then we sat on the tarmac for an hour and a half because of some technical difficulty. That’s when the boys’patience wore thin and they began to get whiny and fidgety. They calmed down once we were airborne, but they demanded constant entertainment for the next three hours, and only when we began our descent into Denver did they fall asleep.

We made it to Denver with about 15 minutes to spare before our short connecting flight to Colorado Springs was set to board. Piece of cake, right? Not when you come out of gate B25 and your next flight leaves out of gate B95. That’s SEVENTY GATES! But along we went, each with two carryon bags on our shoulders. Nate was so upset about having been woken up, he refused to sit in his seat. So I had to run through the airport while struggling to carry all 26 pounds of him, and poor Aunt Terry had to drag both of the rickety car seats behind her, one of which contained Matt.

Yet we somehow managed to get to B95, sweating profusely—only to find that our connecting flight was delayed. At this point it was 7 PM Colorado time (which was 9 PM to us since we had come from the east coast) and the boys were starving, so I started shoving whatever I could find in my bag—frosted strawberry Pop Tarts—down their throats. Then we boarded the plane and sat on the tarmac again for an hour—triple the time of the actual flight. Both boys fell asleep once the plane took off, but when we had to wake them 20 minutes later to deplane, all hell broke loose.

Once we got our three huge suitcases and managed to lug them, along with everything else, out of the airport and find the boys’ babysitter (who had driven our own car to come pick us up), we thought we could finally relax. But, oh yeah—now we had to get the car seats back into our car. And Nate was screaming bloody murder at the top of his lungs because all he wanted was to be asleep in his crib. And it was snowing.

We finally got home around 9:30 PM Colorado time—11:30 New York time—and the boys drank their milk and went to sleep fairly easily. Then Aunt Terry and I ate cereal and Nutella with crackers for dinner at midnight before we finally hit the sack.

It was a long way home. But two weeks later, here we are, and the whole crazy debacle is behind us. Now we can rest easy—until our big move in three months. Oh, brother…

 

*DISCLAIMER: I wholeheartedly recommend the Go-Go Babyz Travelmate. Just don’t be like me: Read the instructions!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

On Friday, I’m skipping town for four days … sans twins. My cousin Kim and I are heading to Orlando to check out the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Orlando. We’ll also get in some Disney time while we are there—and I’m sure some drinking time, too. We are super excited for this trip, which we had booked for last October but had to cancel because Keith ended up getting shot the weekend before.

Ironically, the only other time I’ve been away from the boys overnight is that same weekend last October when Kim and I were supposed to be in Florida. Instead, I spent two nights with Keith at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. I had taken the boys to see him the week earlier, so this was the first time we’d had any alone time since he’d deployed nearly four months earlier. We ordered in Italian food and ate it at his bedside with tubes coming out of his leg. And it actually felt like we were on a date! We missed the boys, of course, who were back in Brooklyn with my parents and Aunt Terry. But it was different then. Matt and Nate were only four months old, and I’m sure they barely noticed I was gone.

This time is going to be a bit tougher. The boys will definitely feel my absence, and I’m sure they will wonder where the heck Mommy is and when she is coming home. They will be in good hands, though. Their wonderful babysitter, Traci, is going to be with them all day on Friday and Monday while Keith is at work. And, our good friend Chi (Uncle Chi to the boys) is flying out for the weekend to help Keith on Saturday and Sunday. They have plans to take the boys to Gymboree and for a long hike. I told Keith that photos of these shenanigans are absolutely necessary.

So, I’m not worried about the boys’ safety or well-being. I just don’t want them to be freaked out about my absence and afraid that I am not coming home. And, let’s be honest—I am going to miss them something fierce. They are literally like appendages these days, following me around and climbing up my leg and giving me hugs. Being away from them will feel like a part of me is missing.

But this trip will allow me to bring back the other part of me that rarely makes an appearance these days—the carefree, laid-back Jen who can eat a meal without having to stop every two seconds to cut up food, shower without having two little faces plastered to the shower door, and have conversations about something other than the size of someone’s poop or the color of someone’s snot. It will be a much-needed break from all the chaos. And, I am so looking forward to the girl time with Kim. It’s been over a year since she and I have spent time together without the babies to chat about work and boys and life.

Heck, I am even excited for the solo plane ride. Traveling with one carry-on bag will be a breeze when I’m used to toting three large suitcases, two car seats, a double stroller, a diaper bag, and another bag stuffed with toys and board books. On the plane, I can actually listen to my iPod (John Legend and Lady Gaga, not Raffi), read magazines (rather than the boys’ favorite book, I Know My Grandma Loves Me, 8 million times), or SLEEP. (Now there’s a novel concept.) Maybe I’ll even order a glass of wine. The possibilities are endless!

This trip will be good for the Keith and the boys, too. Matt and Nate need to spend some time away from Mom, and the quality guys’ time they get with Daddy and Uncle Chi will be priceless. And when the boys are in bed, Keith and Chi can watch baseball and drink beer all night long guilt-free. It’s a win-win for everyone! I’ll be sure to check back in after my trip!

For comparison’s sake, here is a photo of us in front of Sleeping Beauty’s castle at Disneyland on July 5. I will post a similar photo of me and Kim in front of Cinderella’s castle during this upcoming trip. I suspect I’ll look a bit less tired!

Entertaining twins!

As I mentioned a couple of posts back, Keith and I have hired a babysitter, Tracy, to help me out with the twins a couple of days a week. The idea was that she could watch them while I get work done. But what usually ends up happening is that I run errands I can’t do with two babies, or she and I take them to do activities I can’t do alone with the boys, such as Gymboree. Sometimes I feel bad about the experiences the boys and I miss out on simply because there are two of them.

Let’s start with Gymboree, where the boys take Play and Learn classes. Gymboree requires each child to be accompanied by an adult. Even if it didn’t, there is no way on earth I’d be able to chase after both boys as they crawl and climb on everything. So, we are limited in how often we can go. When we were in New York during Keith’s deployment, my cousin Kim would make the 45-minute drive from Long Island to come with us every Friday. After Keith was injured and we returned to Colorado, he was able to come with us even though he was in pain. But now that he is back at work full time, Tracy comes with us once a week, and Keith and I take the boys on Saturdays when we can.

Many of the other moms at Gymboree take their babies to class three times a week or more. If I could, I would do the same. I’d also take them to story time at the library, to Mommy and Me yoga, and to swim lessons. I really want to give the twins more of these enriching experiences, but there are only two days on the weekends, so there is only so much Keith and I can do with them.

Now that the weather is nicer, some of my mom friends go on hikes together with their babies. Keith and I have taken Matt and Nate on a couple of hikes.  We carry them in backpacks on our backs, and they absolutely love being out in nature. I wish I could hike every day with them in the gorgeous Colorado mountains, and socialize with other moms while doing so. But I am limited to taking them on walks in the double stroller around our neighborhood. That’s fun and beautiful too, but it ain’t Pikes Peak or Red Rocks.

Hiking at Red Rocks Open Space

Matt and Nate also love the park. I can probably manage to take them to the park alone right now if I really wanted to, but not for much longer: Matt is thisclose to walking, and once that happens, he’ll need an adult on top of him at all times. Who would keep an eye on Nate?

Fun at the park with Mommy and Grandma

Even everyday errands are so much fun for the boys, but many of them are just impossible with two of them. The other day I ventured to Target alone with them, and by the time I did the whole song and dance of unloading their stroller from the truck, transferring them into the stroller, and making sure all the doors were closed before crossing the parking lot to the store, I was exhausted. Also, I could only buy a few items that I could rest on the front console of the stroller. (I looked around to see if Target had any double shopping carts, and I didn’t see any. But even if I had, how would I get the boys into the store to even put them in the cart?)

I even feel a twinge of jealousy when I see another mom taking a happy little stroll with her baby curled up in a Moby wrap or Baby Bjorn. I myself own two Baby Bjorns, but was never able to use them when the boys were little enough to fit in them. If I did go anywhere with them, there were two of them, so my only option was to put them in the double stroller. I would have loved that feeling of having them so close to me.

Sometimes it makes me sad to think of all of these things the boys don’t get to do that other babies can do. But then I remind myself that they have something most of us don’t—a twin. They share such a deep and special bond. They have a constant companion to navigate life with. Already, they enjoy each other so much. Sometimes when I am in the other room getting chores done, I’ll hear them laughing together. They are getting better about sharing and playing together.

Also, I know that as the boys get bigger and learn to walk, I’ll be able to do more and more with them on my own. Until then, I manage to get through the day without them getting too bored. I take them on long walks, or I’ll push them side-by-side on their ride-on cars around the block. Keith comes home for lunch most days and plays with them a bit. Tracy is here two days a week, for five hours at a time, and entertains them. They have a play date one afternoon a week with their pal from Gymboree, and his mom and I take the kids to the park or the zoo.  I play with them and read to them when I can, and sometimes I even—gasp—let them watch TV. (I don’t see anything wrong with TV in moderation!) And, like I said, the boys even entertain each other!

I’d love to hear from other parents of multiples: How do you entertain your little ones? How do you get out and about with them when you’re alone with them?

A Busy Month!

Ack! It’s been yet another month (OK, more than a month) since I last posted, and so much has happened! Allow me to fill you in:

1. We took yet another trip—already the twins’ third round-trip flight—to New York for the boys’ Baptism. It was something we planned pretty last-minute (as is the case with most things we plan) but it turned out to be a wonderful day! The babies looked adorable, they hardly fussed throughout the church ceremony, and we had a really fun celebratory dinner afterward with family and a few close friends. (The plane rides were another story. Let’s just say they’re only getting to be more difficult as the boys get bigger and more mobile!)

Baptism Day!

2. My parents came to town for a week to celebrate Matt and Nate’s first Easter with us. We did some fun touristy things—visiting Seven Falls, hiking in Red Rocks Open Space—but it was all of the holiday things we did with the boys that were really special. We took them to meet the Easter Bunny at the mall, and not a tear was shed. We dyed Easter eggs. We had a little egg hunt on Easter morning, which was really just a bunch of plastic eggs strewn around the living room. And, we opened baskets from the Easter Bunny himself. A pretty successful first Easter for the boys, if you ask me.

Happy Easter!

3. Keith was finally cleared from the Warrior Transition Battalion and returned to his brigade. Now that his work hours have increased, it’s been quite an adjustment for me and the babies. It doesn’t help that Nate has developed a severe case of separation anxiety. Every time I leave the room now to go put Matt down for a nap, or to make the boys’ bottles, or—for Christ’s sake—to use the bathroom, he screams bloody murder. Also, there are many things I just can’t do with the boys myself, such as Gymboree classes (each child must be accompanied by an adult) or grocery shopping. And forget about trying to get any work done.

So, we’ve hired a babysitter to help me out a bit during the week. Her name is Tracy, and she’s a Godsend. Right now she only comes two days a week for five hours a day, but we’ll probably increase her hours once the summer comes. Tracy stays with the boys while I go grocery shopping, get my hair cut, and run any other errands the babies can’t accompany me on. She comes with us to Gymboree, and she entertains the boys while I finish work assignments or send emails. They—and I—love her!

4. The twins sailed through their 9-month birthday and turn 10 months old tomorrow (April 19)! I can’t believe how much they are learning and thriving. Nate finally started crawling, and now he zips around the house and is starting to get into nearly as much trouble as his mischievous brother. Matt climbs everything. He’ll pull himself up onto his alligator clacker toy and push it all around the living room. Both boys are talking up a storm, laughing at everything, and interacting more and more with each other. Matt even learned his first baby sign: He puts his fingertips together when he wants “more.” Matt has four teeth. Nate only has two, but the doctor said he has six more working their way through. And at their last checkup, Nate weighed 19 lbs. 11 oz. and Matt weighed 16 lbs. 11 oz.

Go, Matt, go!

Finally getting around!

5. We found out Keith would not be returning to Afghanistan with his unit. In a way it’s good, because he gets to stay here with us, and it means his unit will be coming home soon. But at the same time, it was a huge disappointment for Keith. He has worked his butt off for the past six months to return to his guys and come home with the team. His physical recovery has been tough, but his emotional recovery has been even tougher. Keith lost two good friends in the attack: Captain Drew Russell and Captain Joshua Lawrence. They were amazing soldiers, and they are heroes. We have thought and talked about Drew and Josh often, and Keith really felt like he needed to return to Afghanistan to honor their memory and their sacrifice. He also wanted to be with all of the guys he had trained and fought with for so many months. Unfortunately, by the time his doctors deemed him healed enough to return to combat, it was too late.

I think it will take a while for Keith to get over the fact that he wasn’t able to return. He feels, in a way, like he failed Drew and Josh and like he let down his team. But I know that is not the case at all. I’ve seen firsthand how hard he has worked—and how hard he continues to work each day—to get back into “fighting form,” both physically and mentally. The fact that he even got cleared to return to combat only six months after receiving such an extensive injury is so impressive to me. I think Drew and Josh would be proud of him. I know I am—and our sons will be, too.

Keith is now looking forward to his unit returning home. I know it will be so good for him to see all of the guys! And I will be thrilled for all of their families, especially their wives. These women held down the fort and took care of the kids for almost an entire year while their husbands were off fighting. They are some of the strongest women I know, and an inspiration to me.

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