Entertaining twins!

As I mentioned a couple of posts back, Keith and I have hired a babysitter, Tracy, to help me out with the twins a couple of days a week. The idea was that she could watch them while I get work done. But what usually ends up happening is that I run errands I can’t do with two babies, or she and I take them to do activities I can’t do alone with the boys, such as Gymboree. Sometimes I feel bad about the experiences the boys and I miss out on simply because there are two of them.

Let’s start with Gymboree, where the boys take Play and Learn classes. Gymboree requires each child to be accompanied by an adult. Even if it didn’t, there is no way on earth I’d be able to chase after both boys as they crawl and climb on everything. So, we are limited in how often we can go. When we were in New York during Keith’s deployment, my cousin Kim would make the 45-minute drive from Long Island to come with us every Friday. After Keith was injured and we returned to Colorado, he was able to come with us even though he was in pain. But now that he is back at work full time, Tracy comes with us once a week, and Keith and I take the boys on Saturdays when we can.

Many of the other moms at Gymboree take their babies to class three times a week or more. If I could, I would do the same. I’d also take them to story time at the library, to Mommy and Me yoga, and to swim lessons. I really want to give the twins more of these enriching experiences, but there are only two days on the weekends, so there is only so much Keith and I can do with them.

Now that the weather is nicer, some of my mom friends go on hikes together with their babies. Keith and I have taken Matt and Nate on a couple of hikes.  We carry them in backpacks on our backs, and they absolutely love being out in nature. I wish I could hike every day with them in the gorgeous Colorado mountains, and socialize with other moms while doing so. But I am limited to taking them on walks in the double stroller around our neighborhood. That’s fun and beautiful too, but it ain’t Pikes Peak or Red Rocks.

Hiking at Red Rocks Open Space

Matt and Nate also love the park. I can probably manage to take them to the park alone right now if I really wanted to, but not for much longer: Matt is thisclose to walking, and once that happens, he’ll need an adult on top of him at all times. Who would keep an eye on Nate?

Fun at the park with Mommy and Grandma

Even everyday errands are so much fun for the boys, but many of them are just impossible with two of them. The other day I ventured to Target alone with them, and by the time I did the whole song and dance of unloading their stroller from the truck, transferring them into the stroller, and making sure all the doors were closed before crossing the parking lot to the store, I was exhausted. Also, I could only buy a few items that I could rest on the front console of the stroller. (I looked around to see if Target had any double shopping carts, and I didn’t see any. But even if I had, how would I get the boys into the store to even put them in the cart?)

I even feel a twinge of jealousy when I see another mom taking a happy little stroll with her baby curled up in a Moby wrap or Baby Bjorn. I myself own two Baby Bjorns, but was never able to use them when the boys were little enough to fit in them. If I did go anywhere with them, there were two of them, so my only option was to put them in the double stroller. I would have loved that feeling of having them so close to me.

Sometimes it makes me sad to think of all of these things the boys don’t get to do that other babies can do. But then I remind myself that they have something most of us don’t—a twin. They share such a deep and special bond. They have a constant companion to navigate life with. Already, they enjoy each other so much. Sometimes when I am in the other room getting chores done, I’ll hear them laughing together. They are getting better about sharing and playing together.

Also, I know that as the boys get bigger and learn to walk, I’ll be able to do more and more with them on my own. Until then, I manage to get through the day without them getting too bored. I take them on long walks, or I’ll push them side-by-side on their ride-on cars around the block. Keith comes home for lunch most days and plays with them a bit. Tracy is here two days a week, for five hours at a time, and entertains them. They have a play date one afternoon a week with their pal from Gymboree, and his mom and I take the kids to the park or the zoo.  I play with them and read to them when I can, and sometimes I even—gasp—let them watch TV. (I don’t see anything wrong with TV in moderation!) And, like I said, the boys even entertain each other!

I’d love to hear from other parents of multiples: How do you entertain your little ones? How do you get out and about with them when you’re alone with them?

Playground Bullies

Yesterday, I got a glimpse of what the twins have in store for them on the playground as they get older. It got me thinking about what kind of “playground mom” I want to be.

Matt and Nate love to play in the sand, so we took some of their sand toys to the park with us. Our good friends’ daughters, ages 8 and 7, sat in the sand with the boys to play while Keith, the girls’ mom, and I sat on a nearby bench to chat. Everyone was having a great time.

Soon, two little girls made their way over to the group. Their moms were sitting at a bench not too far away, but we couldn’t see them and they couldn’t see us. The girls picked up some of the boys’ toys and began to play nicely. All was well … until one of the girls, who was about 4 years old, began to knock down the sand castles my friend’s daughter had so carefully built. Rather than get involved, we adults decided to watch closely to see how it all unfolded.

My friend’s daughter turned to Miss Destructive and asked her nicely to please not knock down the castles. “OK,” she replied. Crisis averted … until Miss Destructive turned her attention to the fish molds Nate was playing with. She snatched them out of his hands and declared that they were her “cookies.” Now, if she had done that to Matt, he probably would have hit her and taken the toys back. But Nate, being the laid-back dude that he is, just stared at her with a confused look. After a few minutes of quietly watching her play with the toys she had stolen from him, he reached over to try to take one of the fish back.

No!” she screeched. “Do not touch my cookies!!!”

Nate tried again, and again the girl yelled at him.

My maternal instincts kicked into high gear, and all I wanted to do was give that little brat a piece of my mind. But then my friend’s daughters did the dirty work for me.

“Those are not your toys,” they told her. “You can’t decide who can and can’t play with them.”

“These are my cookies,” the brat replied. “And no one can play with them!”

Without another word, my friend’s daughter marched over to the girl’s mom and ratted her out. The mom then called the girl over and proceeded to scream at her. The girl responded with a pretty significant temper tantrum that involved lots of crying and foot-stomping. She then tried to get my friend’s girls to be mean to her so she could tell on them. Rather than let the situation escalate, we gathered up the babies’ toys and left the playground.

Today, I could not stop thinking about that incident. I wonder if this type of behavior is pretty common on playgrounds. I also wonder if and how I—and the little girl’s mother—could have handled the situation better. I do feel bad that the girl got yelled at the way she did in front of everyone—she is really young, after all—but I also think she is old enough to know that bullying a baby and stealing other kids’ toys is not OK. I wanted to scold her, but I didn’t think it was my place to do so. After all, her mom was there, and I don’t know her mom. Shouldn’t her mom have been keeping a closer eye on her? And should she have come over to me to apologize for the way her daughter  treated the baby? Should I have gone over to her to make nice and tell her there were no hard feelings? I have no idea. I do know that I am proud of my friend’s daughters for handling the situation with grace.

Also, how involved should I get in these situations as the boys get older? When they are 5 or 6, at what point would I get involved if another kid is being mean to them? I do feel that kids need to learn how to fight their own battles and not always have Mommy step in for them. But I also know that if I see Matt and Nate bullying another child, I sure as heck would not let them get away with it!

Ah, playground drama. Is this what I have to look forward to? I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts on this!

A happier moment for Nate on the playground!

A Busy Month!

Ack! It’s been yet another month (OK, more than a month) since I last posted, and so much has happened! Allow me to fill you in:

1. We took yet another trip—already the twins’ third round-trip flight—to New York for the boys’ Baptism. It was something we planned pretty last-minute (as is the case with most things we plan) but it turned out to be a wonderful day! The babies looked adorable, they hardly fussed throughout the church ceremony, and we had a really fun celebratory dinner afterward with family and a few close friends. (The plane rides were another story. Let’s just say they’re only getting to be more difficult as the boys get bigger and more mobile!)

Baptism Day!

2. My parents came to town for a week to celebrate Matt and Nate’s first Easter with us. We did some fun touristy things—visiting Seven Falls, hiking in Red Rocks Open Space—but it was all of the holiday things we did with the boys that were really special. We took them to meet the Easter Bunny at the mall, and not a tear was shed. We dyed Easter eggs. We had a little egg hunt on Easter morning, which was really just a bunch of plastic eggs strewn around the living room. And, we opened baskets from the Easter Bunny himself. A pretty successful first Easter for the boys, if you ask me.

Happy Easter!

3. Keith was finally cleared from the Warrior Transition Battalion and returned to his brigade. Now that his work hours have increased, it’s been quite an adjustment for me and the babies. It doesn’t help that Nate has developed a severe case of separation anxiety. Every time I leave the room now to go put Matt down for a nap, or to make the boys’ bottles, or—for Christ’s sake—to use the bathroom, he screams bloody murder. Also, there are many things I just can’t do with the boys myself, such as Gymboree classes (each child must be accompanied by an adult) or grocery shopping. And forget about trying to get any work done.

So, we’ve hired a babysitter to help me out a bit during the week. Her name is Tracy, and she’s a Godsend. Right now she only comes two days a week for five hours a day, but we’ll probably increase her hours once the summer comes. Tracy stays with the boys while I go grocery shopping, get my hair cut, and run any other errands the babies can’t accompany me on. She comes with us to Gymboree, and she entertains the boys while I finish work assignments or send emails. They—and I—love her!

4. The twins sailed through their 9-month birthday and turn 10 months old tomorrow (April 19)! I can’t believe how much they are learning and thriving. Nate finally started crawling, and now he zips around the house and is starting to get into nearly as much trouble as his mischievous brother. Matt climbs everything. He’ll pull himself up onto his alligator clacker toy and push it all around the living room. Both boys are talking up a storm, laughing at everything, and interacting more and more with each other. Matt even learned his first baby sign: He puts his fingertips together when he wants “more.” Matt has four teeth. Nate only has two, but the doctor said he has six more working their way through. And at their last checkup, Nate weighed 19 lbs. 11 oz. and Matt weighed 16 lbs. 11 oz.

Go, Matt, go!

Finally getting around!

5. We found out Keith would not be returning to Afghanistan with his unit. In a way it’s good, because he gets to stay here with us, and it means his unit will be coming home soon. But at the same time, it was a huge disappointment for Keith. He has worked his butt off for the past six months to return to his guys and come home with the team. His physical recovery has been tough, but his emotional recovery has been even tougher. Keith lost two good friends in the attack: Captain Drew Russell and Captain Joshua Lawrence. They were amazing soldiers, and they are heroes. We have thought and talked about Drew and Josh often, and Keith really felt like he needed to return to Afghanistan to honor their memory and their sacrifice. He also wanted to be with all of the guys he had trained and fought with for so many months. Unfortunately, by the time his doctors deemed him healed enough to return to combat, it was too late.

I think it will take a while for Keith to get over the fact that he wasn’t able to return. He feels, in a way, like he failed Drew and Josh and like he let down his team. But I know that is not the case at all. I’ve seen firsthand how hard he has worked—and how hard he continues to work each day—to get back into “fighting form,” both physically and mentally. The fact that he even got cleared to return to combat only six months after receiving such an extensive injury is so impressive to me. I think Drew and Josh would be proud of him. I know I am—and our sons will be, too.

Keith is now looking forward to his unit returning home. I know it will be so good for him to see all of the guys! And I will be thrilled for all of their families, especially their wives. These women held down the fort and took care of the kids for almost an entire year while their husbands were off fighting. They are some of the strongest women I know, and an inspiration to me.

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